So let's get to know our bodies. The most common type of orgasm and perhaps the easiest to achieve is the clitoral orgasm. The clitoris is the small pea-shaped part of the vulva that typically hides under the hood. If you were to spread your outer labia apart with your fingers - you would be able to see it. Some clitorises protrude more than others - it just depends on physical makeup of the body.
Some women can take direct contact and heavy pressure on the clitoris while others cannot. Some women like fast while others like slow, some side to side, some back and forth. Everybody and every 'body' is different. (No offense men) - many men try and use the same technique on every woman because they got some positive feedback from a woman in their past and they think one size fits all. It doesn't!
Therefore, it is our job to communicate to him the speed we like, what pressure pressure, the location, the intensity - all of it. The 2 O'clock spot is a hot spot for most. It is not directly on the clitoris but just a little over to the side. If you are not too shy - maybe you can show him how you masturbate and then he can see how your body enjoys touch. If it is more comfortable to use descriptive words, slowly guide him into becoming an amazing lover through talk.
Clitoral orgasms can not only be achieved through touch, but through oral, toys and intercourse as well. If you are receiving oral, tell him how you like to be licked. Some enjoy to be sucked on, some like circles drawn with the tongue - some like tongue inside the vagina - most prefer tongue to stay on or around the clitoris. Certain women like back and forth motions and others do not. He is not a mind-reader. If you don't communicate to him exactly what you want - he will never know! Maybe he was an amazing lover for someone else - but her pleasure centers were wired differently from yours. Don't give up and think "he sucks." Give him a chance! and some instructions :) He will be more than willing to please you.
It is more difficult for women to achieve a clitoral orgasm through intercourse although it is possible. Different women and different shaped penises connect differently. Play around with different positions. Find the position in which your clitoris is being stimulated the most by the shaft of the penis. And remember......it takes about 20 minutes of foreplay just to get the body excited, so achieving an orgasm through intercourse might take some time. You may need to put a pillow underneath you to change the angle. Or you may need to pull his butt in so that he's closer to you. Don't be afraid to experiment with angles, speeds and pressures. Have fun!
G-spot orgams can be a little more challenging to achieve. Inside our vaginas - toward our stomach side - there is a section of skin about the size of a quarter that is referred to as our G-spot. The skin in this area will feel differently from the skin in surrounding areas. With more stimulation - the G-spot can actually grow. If you have never had a G-spot orgasm, it doesn't mean that your body can't. Don't give up and keep trying. Similar to a clitoral orgasm, different women respond to different touch.
Some like the "come hither" motion while others like to be palpated. Still, others enjoy circular motions. Some women enjoy light touch in their G-spots while others like more pressure. Communicate to your partner what you enjoy and if you don't know, it's ok. Have him explore and give him feedback as to what is enjoyable and what isn't. Try to keep most of your language phrased positively as opposed to critically. You want to guide him in directions that feel good, not shut him down.
When your G-spot becomes stimulated and fills with fluid, it will feel like you have to urinate. Don't worry - this feeling will pass and if you push your muscles out - you might actually be able to squirt (if this is something you're interested in doing). G-spot orgasms, similar to prostate orgasms, can also be accessed through the anus. If your partner is to put his finger inside the anus and palpate about 1 1/2 to 2 inches inside, toward the abdominal side, he can touch the G-spot from this angle as well.
Women may have clitoral and G-spot orgasms in isolation, or they may have a combination of the two which will leave your bodies quivering from head to toe. Lastly, the cervical orgasm is an deeply intense - internal orgasm. The cervix looks like the head of a penis - it is located about 5-6 inches inside of the vagina. A cervical orgasm is possible by either pushing on the cervix with the fingers or penis head at different speeds and pressures. It can also be pleasurable to run the fingers around the cervix as if one was circling the rim of a glass. This section of the body may be very intense for women, so it is best to explore gently. If a woman is paralyzed, she can still have an orgasm through the cervix even if she cannot have clitoral or G-spot orgasms. This is because the sensation travels through the vagus nerve as opposed to the spinal cord.
So remember, the key to all three of these orgasms is communication. Let your partner know about your body. Be willing and free to explore yourself and different aspects of touch. Allow yourself to become vulnerable. Mastering your own body takes time. Teaching someone else to master it takes even more time. (This said, if you haven't been able to achieve an orgasm through masturbation on your own, that's probably a good first step to understanding your own sensations. After you are able to do this, you will find it is much easier to guide someone else to giving you pleasure).
Be patient, open and loving. Good luck........Stay tuned to read about Men's Orgasms in my next article.
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